An Impossible Secret Read online

  “Why not?” Brice was growing tired of having the same conversation every day.

  “Look!” Jimmy pointed to the window. “See that blue sky? See that sun? Why would you want to lock yourself away in the library on a day like today?”

  “To study? You know—the reason we're here. ”

  “You can study in the park. There's bound to be loads of chicks wearing next to nothing in there today.”

  “Chicks?”

  “Birds, crumpet, skirt. Call 'em what you like.”

  “And, you wonder why you haven't got a girlfriend.”

  “Come on. You can skip the library for one day.”

  “I'll see you tomorrow,” Brice said.

  The library was much quieter than usual. Jimmy obviously wasn't the only person who had decided to enjoy the summer weather. Quiet girl was in her usual seat, but the table next to her was already occupied. Even from a distance, Brice could see she looked uncomfortable, and it didn't take him long to figure out why. Alec Weston and two of his sidekicks were seated at the next table. Weston played on the same football team as Brice. He was a show-off, a big mouth, and a bully who spent most of his time trying to impress the girls. Weston leaned across the table, and took one of quiet girl's books. She tried to get it back, but Weston waved the book a few inches beyond her reach.

  “Give it back,” Brice said.

  “Keep your nose out, Brice.”

  Quiet girl looked like a rabbit caught in the headlights.

  “Give the book back.”

  In common with most bullies, Weston's targets were carefully selected. He went for those smaller and weaker than himself—those unlikely to put up a fight. Brice was neither small nor weak. Even with his two side-kicks, Weston looked unsure of himself.

  “We were only messing around.” Weston slid the book across the table to quiet girl.

  “Now get lost.” Brice motioned to the exit.

  “I didn't think she was your type,” Weston said as he brushed past Brice.

  “Thanks,” quiet girl said.

  “No problem. I'm Brice.”

  “Kerry.”

  “Nice to speak to you at last, Kerry.”

  She smiled, but then went back to her book.

  “You're in here a lot,” he said. “What do you study?”

  “Psychology.”

  This wasn't going to be easy. He wasn't sure if her mono-syllabic responses were a sign of shyness, or if she simply wanted him to shut up and leave her alone. Undaunted, he persevered.

  “I'm studying architecture,” he said.

  “Do you enjoy it?”

  Progress! She actually appeared interested.

  “Yes, but it's hard going. What about you? Why did you choose Psychology?”

  “I've always been interested in the human mind. What makes us do the things we do—that kind of thing.”

  “Do you plan on being a psychologist?”

  “I'm not sure what I'll do after my degree.”

  “I want to work as an architect in London.”

  “Why London?”

  “That's where all the interesting projects are. There's nothing around here.”

  “Thanks again for—you know.” Kerry smiled, but then went back to her studies.

  “No problem. Any time.”

  Brice tried to focus on his work, but his mind was elsewhere. Several times, he glanced across at Kerry, but she was deep in study. After an hour, he was forced to admit to himself the day was a bust. He was never going to get anything done.

  “I'm off,” he said.

  “Oh. Okay.”

  “I can't seem to focus. It must be the weather.” Brice nodded to the window. “Seems a pity to be inside.”

  Kerry nodded.

  “I don't suppose you'd like to come for a coffee?”

  “I errr—I can’t.” Kerry blushed.

  “It’s okay. Sorry, I should have realised you're busy. Bye then.”

  Chapter 7

  Kerry wished she could block out all the idiots on campus, but they seemed to home in on her. She’d been grateful when Brice had stepped in and put the bully in his place. He'd wanted to chat, but she found it difficult. She spent so much time on her own that she didn't know how it was supposed to work. When Brice had asked her to go for coffee, it had taken her by surprise—she’d said no before she’d even had time to think about it. After he‘d gone, two girls came over to her table.

  “Are you mad?” the taller of the two said.

  Kerry looked puzzled.

  “Brice West just asked you to go out for coffee, and you said no?”

  “I’m busy,” Kerry said. She couldn’t tell the girl the real reason: she’d never been for coffee with anyone except her mum

  “Busy? What with?” The girl picked up one of Kerry’s text books. “Psychology? You need a psychologist or a shrink to find out why you turned down a chance to go out with Brice.”

  “Come on, Sophie. Let’s go.” The girl's friend pulled at her arm. “She’s bloody weird that one.”

  Kerry didn’t get much work done. She couldn’t stop thinking about Brice. Why had he asked her out? Had he been teasing? If she’d said yes, would he have laughed at her, and walked away? She didn’t think so. She thought he was being sincere, but what did she know? She kept imagining what might have happened if she’d said yes. What would they have talked about? He'd have soon realised how boring her life was. She never did anything or went anywhere. She would have let him do all the talking. His life was bound to be infinitely more interesting than hers. What if he’d wanted to do more than just talk? What if he’d tried to kiss her? When she closed her eyes, she could picture his lips. What would it have felt like for them to touch hers? A shiver ran through her entire body. Who was she kidding? Why would he want to kiss her? Whenever she’d seen Brice in the library, there always seemed to be at least one girl hovering around him. He was really good-looking, so it wasn’t all that surprising. He always appeared to be annoyed by their attention, and she’d never seen him talk to any of them for more than a few minutes. It didn’t make any sense. If he could go out with any girl he wanted, why had he asked her to go for coffee?

  Her mum wasn’t in when Kerry arrived home. She hadn’t left a note, but then she didn’t need to. Other than shopping, which she always did at the weekend, her mum only ever went to one other place—her sister’s—Kerry’s Aunt Wendy. When Kerry was a small child, her Aunt Wendy used to come around every week, but she was poorly now, and couldn’t get out of the house.

  Chapter 8

  Pete Myers pulled on the number six shirt which was normally worn by Alec Weston.

  “Hey Pete, where’s Weston?” Brice said.

  “Didn’t you hear? He’s in hospital.”

  “What happened?” It had only been the previous day that Brice had had words with him in the library.

  “Broke his leg.”

  “How?”

  “Fell down the fire escape—according to Monty.”

  Charlie Montgomery (Monty) was one of the sidekicks who had been with Weston in the library.

  “Monty heard him screaming,” Pete said. “He found him at the bottom of the fire escape.”

  “What was he doing on the fire escape?”

  “No one knows. Weston blanked out after Monty found him. He can’t remember anything. Monty was shooting his mouth off, though.”

  “What about?”

  “He said you’d threatened Weston yesterday.”

  “That’s crap. He was annoying a girl in the library, so I told him to leave her alone.”

  “That’s not how Monty tells it.”

  “Monty’s full of shit.”

  Weston might have been a bully and an idiot, but he was one of the best players in the team. Without him, Westchester lost two nil to opposition they should have beaten easily.

  “What happened? You were crap today.” Jimmy was waiting on the sidelines when the match ended.

  “Cheers.�
�� Brice gave his friend a friendly push.

  “You probably shouldn’t have thrown Weston off the fire escape.”

  “I didn’t…”

  “Relax. I know you didn’t. What did happen between you and him?”

  “He was giving someone a hard time. I stopped him.”

  “Someone?”

  “Yes, someone.”

  “A female someone? Who was she?”

  “No one you know. Anyway, it doesn’t matter.”

  “Come on. You know I’ll find out. Tell me or I’ll ask Monty.”

  “Her name is Kerry.”

  The cogs in Jimmy’s mind were spinning as he tried to put a face to the name.

  “She was at the next table when Courtney …” Brice said.

  “I remember. She’s always in the library, but I’ve never seen her speak to anyone. Quiet as a mouse.”

  “That’s her.”

  “So, you had a chat with mouse girl?”

  “Not really. Just a few words.”

  “You like her,” Jimmy said.

  “Don’t be stupid. We barely spoke.”

  “I know you, Brice. I can tell.”

  “You’re talking shit—as usual.”

  Chapter 9

  While waiting outside the library, Kerry overheard three guys talking. One of them mentioned the name ‘Weston’—that’s what caught her attention. He was the guy who had picked on her the previous day. She heard them say he’d fallen down the fire escape, and broken his leg. They said that Brice had pushed him. Even though she barely knew Brice, Kerry couldn’t believe he'd be capable of something like that. What if he was, though? It would be her fault. He’d only gotten into an argument with Weston because of her.

  She found it impossible to focus on her work because she was concerned over what might happen to Brice. Would they throw him out of university? There was a zero-tolerance policy towards violence of any kind.

  Just then Brice appeared. Their eyes met, and he smiled.

  “Hello again,” he said, as he sat at the next table.

  “Are you all right?” she asked.

  “Yeah.” He looked confused.

  “I heard about Weston,” she said.

  “I’m okay. Weston’s not in such good shape though.”

  “You’re not in trouble…?”

  “No. Why would I be? Did you think I…?”

  “No, of course not.”

  “It’s all right. I know there’s a rumour doing the rounds, but I didn’t see him again after he left the library.”

  Brice was telling the truth. Kerry could always tell if someone was lying.

  Jimmy appeared out of nowhere, and perched on the seat next to Brice.

  “What are you doing here?” Brice didn’t look happy to see him.

  “Aren’t you going to introduce me?” Jimmy said.

  “Jimmy, this is Kerry. Kerry, this is my friend Jimmy, who is just about to leave.”

  “Pleased to meet you, Kerry.” Jimmy tipped a non-existent hat.

  “Hello.” Kerry smiled. She’d seen Jimmy with Brice several times before, but he'd never made any attempt to speak to her until today. What had changed? Had Brice talked about her to Jimmy?

  “I've got plenty of time,” Jimmy said. “I don’t have to leave just yet.”

  Jimmy either didn’t see, or he chose to ignore, the look on Brice’s face.

  “Brice tells me you’re studying psychology.”

  “Yes.” It was all Kerry could manage. She knew now that Brice must have told Jimmy about her.

  “So, Kerry, are you two like study-buddies?” Jimmy grinned.

  Before Kerry could answer, Brice had taken hold of Jimmy’s arm and was leading him out of the library.

  “Nice to meet you, Kerry,” Jimmy called over his shoulder.

  “I’m sorry about that,” Brice said when he returned. “Sometimes he can be a complete prat. I’m sorry if he upset you.”

  “He didn’t. It’s okay.”

  They didn’t speak much for the rest of the day. Every time Kerry looked over at Brice, he had his head in his book. A few times she thought she sensed his gaze on her, but whenever she looked up he was reading.

  Even though Kerry had finished all the work she’d planned to do that day, she didn’t leave. She’d promised herself that if he asked her out for a coffee again, she'd say yes. The prospect terrified her, but she was determined to go through with it.

  At four o’clock, he packed his books away, said goodbye, and left.

  Chapter 10

  “You can walk,” Brice said.

  “Come on. I was only messing.” Jimmy slid into the passenger seat. “Where are we going?”

  “I’m going home.”

  “Come on man. It’s too nice to go straight home. Let’s go for a drive.”

  “Are you paying for the petrol?”

  “I’ll give you a tenner.”

  “You still owe me the last tenner you promised me.”

  “I’ll give you twenty tomorrow. Promise.”

  They both knew he wouldn’t because Jimmy was always broke. Brice had no idea what his friend did with his money. He didn’t spend it on clothes—that was for sure.

  “Did you ask her out again?” Jimmy shouted. It was the only way he could make himself heard over the music, which he’d turned up to full volume.

  “Who?” Brice turned the sound down a few notches.

  “Mouse girl.”

  “Her name’s Kerry.”

  “So, did you ask her out?”

  “No. She’s not interested.”

  “Are you kidding? Didn’t you see how she looked at you?”

  Was Jimmy being serious? Brice could never tell.

  Jimmy insisted they drive to Toppers—a small coffee shop on the outskirts of town. Brice hated the place. Jimmy tried to persuade Brice to buy the drinks, but there was a limit to his friend’s gullibility. Brice found a free table on the raised area at the back of the shop. Courtney Jerome and three of her ‘clan’ were seated two tables away. Brice sat with his back to her in the hope she wouldn’t notice him.

  “Hiya. We don’t see you here very often.” Courtney planted herself in the seat next to Brice.

  “Hi.” His expression would have been enough for most people to take the hint, and leave him alone, but not Courtney.

  “Are you by yourself?” She crossed her legs, causing her short skirt to hitch higher.

  “Jimmy’s getting drinks.”

  “I don’t know why you knock around with him. He’s such a loser.”

  “Jimmy’s okay.”

  “Someone talking about me?” Jimmy had a cappuccino in one hand, and a latte in the other.

  “Courtney was just asking where you were,” Brice said, without even a hint of a smile.

  Jimmy beamed. Courtney scowled. Brice said he had to go to the loo, and left the two of them alone.

  “I’ll never understand women,” Jimmy said when Brice returned.

  “Where’s Courtney?”

  “She took off with her friends.”

  “What did you say to upset her?”

  “I didn’t get a chance to say anything. As soon as you left, she took off.”

  “Strange.” Brice smiled.

  “What about you and the mouse? Kerry?”

  “What about us?”

  “So there is an ‘us’?” Jimmy grinned.

  “No, there isn’t an ‘us’. I just helped her out when Weston was giving her a hard time.”

  “And then you threw him down the stairs.”

  “I…”

  “I’m joking.”

  “Not funny.”

  “Have you asked her out?”

  Brice hesitated. “No.”

  “You have, haven’t you?”

  “I asked if she wanted to go for coffee.”

  “She said no.” Jimmy laughed. “That’s brilliant. Almost every girl in uni wants to get into your pants, and you pick the one girl who doesn'
t.”

  “I just asked her for coffee—no big deal.”

  “Wrong. This is a big deal, a very big deal. It’s made my day.”

  “I’m glad you find it so funny. I hope you’re still laughing when you’re walking home.”

  Chapter 11

  Most of the students looked forward to Friday evenings—not Kerry. She enjoyed her studies and, even though she hadn’t made any friends yet, preferred to be at university rather than stuck at home with her mum.

  It was another hot day. Kerry wished she’d worn a skirt instead of jeans. The walk home was mostly uphill. She’d considered taking the bus, but then remembered it had no air conditioning.

  “Kerry! Wait!”

  She turned around to see Jimmy running towards her.

  “It’s too hot for this,” he said. He was red in the face, and struggling to catch his breath.

  “Are you okay?” Kerry asked.

  Jimmy nodded, but didn’t speak again for a few seconds.

  “You have to promise me something,” he said at last.

  “What?”

  “I need you to promise you won't tell Brice I’ve spoken to you.”

  “Why?”

  “Do you promise?”

  “I suppose so.”

  “The thing is.” Jimmy looked around as though he thought they might be overheard. “Brice is a really shy guy.”

  “He is?”

  “I know it doesn’t seem that way. He’s good-looking—a bit of a jock. But, underneath all of that, he’s really insecure.”

  Kerry studied Jimmy’s face. He wasn’t smiling, and appeared to be sincere.

  “It took a lot of courage for him to ask you out for coffee. He isn't used to asking a girl out—they usually ask him.”

  Kerry was trying to process the information. From what she’d seen, Brice didn’t need to ask girls out—they swarmed around him. Could Jimmy be telling the truth? Was Brice really shy?

  “He was devastated when you turned him down. It knocked his self-confidence for six.”